Feeling good to accept the reallity. Actually i didn't expect this will come so calmly... maybe i already asked myself not to give too much hope on it. Realised that I cannot get the best of everything in my life... I can't do anything since I can't control my fate...
We really turn out don't have to pretent, because all these mayhem has come to the end. As we still own each other's friendship, i didn't feel i have missed anything.
Yes, I can be bad, and I like him calling me as a bad girl. I don't have to act as or become a holy person. I can be selfish, I can do my things without considering too much about what somebody thinks. I can be free, free to do my own decision without considering many conditions.
I don't need to make him as a priority in my life since i am just a minor option in his life.
I don't have to compare myself with others since I am not going competing with others. If he really admits me, then i have no point to compare myself as I will become the incomparable.
I can always say no. As i have not committed myself to anyone and anything.
I can always hanging around with other guys around me, just don't be too frequent.
I am always holding the right to choose. There is useless to give up the right because of someone that don't love me. Even if someone does love me, I still have the right to choose my soulmate before I am married to someone.
I am starting to train myself not to weep in any circumstance. Start to keep quiet with what haven't succes, keep secret for what i will not give benefits after sharing. Start to aware those are going to expose my secret and hurts me badly, start to learn how to think more and less talkative.
He is still in my world, and I am always happy for it.
I still alive, I am bad, I am happy, I am wise, I am pretty, I am healty, I owns a little wealth, I am going to reach succes, and I enjoy every second in my life.
